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Not last night, but the night before, I was reading in bed. RH was already asleep. I felt something jump up on the bed--like a cat. The cats don't sleep in our room, so I decided it myst be some weird way RH had moved in his sleep (we have an air bed, so moving around feels different than it would on a conventional bed). Some time after this, I became aware that something was watching me from just to the side of the bed. I couldn't quite make out what it was.

Now, this apartment was mostly pretty "clean" when we moved into it, because it had been painted and re-carpeted and the floor sealed and all that good stuff. The closets felt a little funny, but it's more of the emotional ickiness factor than anything lurking in them--I need to run around and hit them with my jasmine and peppermint candles, but I haven't quite gotten to it, yet. Also, the woman living in the apartment below us does not have the coping skills to deal with her children, so I didn't discount the possibility of ickiness or something nasty coming up from below. (Again, I want to do a formal ward, and there have been so many things to do involved with the cross-country move that I just haven't gotten to it, since it didn't feel urgent).

So when I put down the book and shut off the light, I had a look at what was watching me. Or tried to. I couldn't get it very clear. I scanned the rest of the house and then did a quick banishment. Now, when I do this sort of thing, I specifically only exclude baneful things--same as when I ward a house. Beneficient and neutral things are not excluded. It means I occasionally get curious visitors, but I also don't shut out things/people that have a need to find me. Sure enough, that-which-was-watching-me didn't go. Instead, it moved over and nested on the bed between me and RH, just around my left hip.

I started to ask it some questions, but I'd get halfway and suddenly realize that was I was asking was irrelevant. And it wasn't saying anything or particularly interacting. And suddenly, it occurred to me that this was a child. I think RH's and my potential child, looking for us.

I was feeling really joyous at the time. Now I'm feeling kind of depressed that if it is our child, there's no little group of cells available to welcome it at the moment.

Date: 2009-02-01 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tturtle.livejournal.com
It feels the love & when the time is right it will happen. The Gods will make sure of that..

Hugs & Bright Blessings,
Moonwave~

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January 2011

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